Justice League Core, and a thrilling display of 90’s hardcore tempered by Jason Farrell’s uncanny knack for catchy (yet unorthodox) riff candy. Why the heck is it that everything these gents create is, for the most part, overlooked by people? Criminally underrated! All of them!
Ehhhh! What do we have here? Curiousity…and its primed to murder felis catus. The lady centered in this feature is rather striking! She has the wiley/scuztacular allure of Angelina Jolie with the rounded facial features of Amanda Peet. Bet all the boys line-up for a chance to talk to her face-to-face at Sounds of The Underground. I know I would’ve…ten years ago or so. Whats that? “Not a woman?”, you say? Impossible, Jeeves! I know a lass when I see one! I assure you, the “new-poster-child” of Epitaph Records is a vision of feminine beauty! Look at those cheek-bones and tussled locks…
…His name is Oli Sykes? IT CANNOT BE! Surely, this “person” is serving as Epitaph’s “check” to the FBR’s “darling” Haylie Williams? Wait! It entered the “male-marked” port-a-john” at Van’s Warped Tour!? Nooooo! Folly! Folly-over-Wally’s-sheep-in-Whales-clothing! I’ve been had!
Pardon my initial reaction to entering the “new and improved” Epitaph website. The last time I checked in, Jim Lindberg manned the microphone for Pennywise and Gainesville’s Hot Water Music were prepped to drop their swan-song “The New What Next”. My how the winds of change have busied themselves! In fairness, Epitaph was already barking up this tree around 2003 or so, with “feminine rockstars” like Sonny Moore – but it appears the roots of “glammed-faux-metal” have grown into a veritable forest. Perhaps, I’ve lost more than a few of you already? A brief introduction/history of Santa Moniqua’s “E-Trade” may be in order. Here’s to it!
Epitaph was formed in 1981 as a means to support Brett Gurewitz’s(eseseses) insatiable lust for cocaine. Bad Religion (The forerunner) served as the fuel for his drive in obtaining, “the white stuff”. Like any good RPG from the 80s-90s he (and the band, of course) encountered bands of misfits along the way – and after besting them in a show of force (via ukulele) they joined his posse and produced more sonic-obnoxygen. See the vicious cycle!? Terrible! The Sno-Cones and cocaine were pouring in like a relentless monsoon, but the billowing surge came around 1994 when Poindexter Hollski (Of “Progeny” fame released “Smash”…eh…I digress (mofo). Sonically speaking, the bands of Epitaph pioneered what is commonly referred to as “skate-punk”. It was characterised by its clean (By “punk” standards. Ha! That’s right! I just used the words “punk” and “standards” in a thought blurb! Ha!), oft harmonised vocals, speedy palm-muted guitar work, and lyrics about being backed into the corner and getting ready to “come out swinging” (Alright, I’m done with the Offspring jabs). I discovered the “amazing world of Epitaphry” around 1995-ish. As a young teen, around that period, it would’ve been impossible not to be, considering the air-play Offspring received through Clear Channel (MTV, radio, magazines, newspaper, et cetera). They were trying times. The last vestige of “grunge” was going “belly-up”. We parted our hair down the center, and often gelled it. Braided belts were huge. Fluorescent tee-shirts were the norm and easily accessible. The dying of ones hair was strictly prohibited at most public schools – MAN – these gents really brought in the tides of change. Nowadays, you’d be hard-pressed to find a Catholic school that enforces rules on hair colour! Revolution! Get down! Through late-end junior high and in the earlier part of high-school, Epitaph’s roster of no-good-nicks graced the walls of my room (visually and via sonic bombardment). Alright, its time to cut the crap (sarcrapsm and all). Yes, Epitaph has served up a load of horrid trash in the past few years or so (With the exception of Converge, and a few of their recent signees), but they’ve also served up as precursors/curators of the “melodic-punk” sound. Through the Burning Heart, Hellcat, and Fat Possum imprints – they’ve tapped into a myriad of musical genres, namingly: punk, hardcore, ska, reggae, blues, country, hip-hop, industrial, glam-faux-metal, and new-wave. Name another label that can boast a line-up as diverse as Atmosphere, Refused, Converge, and Tom Waits? Good freakin’ luck! In usual form, but in no particular order, I’ll be doling out a Top Ten for my favourite Epitaph Records releases. Game on!
New Bomb Turks – Scared Straight
A hidden treasure from Columbus, Ohio. Garagey-punk-rock in the vein of Motown classics like the Motor City 5 and the Stooges. There’s a hint of classic Jerry Lee Lewis on rabble-rousers like “Professional Againster” and such. If only these cats caught the wave of praise The Hives generated. In a just world…
Pennywise – Self-titled
1992? Its hard to imagine the Godzilla-esque figure of Fletcher Dragge has been stalking the earth for that long! The Hermosa boys were most certainly at their peak, and raring out the gates with their brand of speedy skate-punk on this release. It’s like the funky, mutated stepson of Brian Wilson and Greg Graffin with loads of chunky palm-mutes and harmonic gang-vocals. A quintessential Epi-Fat punk-rock record.
Offspring – Ignition
Was this the era of ‘dreaded-Dex Hollski’? I’d say cutting his hair was the equivalent of Samson shedding his Nazarite ‘vows’ – ‘nerfing’ his sonic-manhood – but I tend to prefer ‘Ixnay…’. Said record came well after the ‘dreads’ went the way of Technicolor and Myspace. Death and transformation! Hi-ho! Soooooooo…this record. If Epitaph were to issue a ‘Holy Quintet’ in all things Santa Moniqua-harrific, surely this record would be placed on it.
NOFX – Liberation Animation
It’s nearly impossible to have an Epitaph Top Ten list without mentioning Fat Mike’s wretched abomination known as Noffimus-Spascowticus. The unintentional humour on this release is muy deliciouso. How’s your ‘green blood’ holding up, Mike?
Poison Idea – Feel The Darkness
The heaviest band on Earth (In every conceivable way! Weight! Sound! You name it)! This metric ton of human mass destroys you, and this LP – though a bit lacking in comparison to their back catalogue – still rules and then some. Dark lyrics, crunchy punk-metal, and Jerry Lang’s low howl have left an indelible mark on my mind. Its a rough and tumble world, and this LP certainly won’t bring a ray of sunshine for you. Suck it up, chump!
Hot Water Music – Caution
Arguably the best piece of “The Gainesville Four’s” clean-years. Thanks to the McTernanised production, everything came through as clean as a fresh bottle of Fuji. The multi-tracking on “Remedy” alone is enough to make most guitar sound purists jealous. Ragan and Wollard were definitely on top of their game, in a technical sense – but “Caution” still lacks the passion and energy of their prior work. Give it to me sloppy and ragged! Dang it!
Converge – No Heroes
Oooooh! Lookie! There’s a posterised eaglette against a blood-spattered background! Wait! The signature Jake ‘Skull’ is noticeably absent! Folly, I say! An Epitaph duplicate, of sorts to pollute our fair waters with its brand of scummy mall-bred chum. ‘Whats that?’ Epitaph signed the most consistent band in all of metalcore-dom? ‘A few years ago, you say?’ Oh, heavens! I feel faint…
…and I did too. However, all my fears were alleviated as soon as Bannon’s manic vocals kicked in on “Last Light” from 2004’s ‘You Fail Me’. Twenty-double-oh-six brought more metalcore goodness in the form of ‘No Heroes’ and this one cast all doubt from my mind. A gross display of sunshiney, grindy goodness. These cats are your best bet on the modern soundscape of Epitaph Reccies.
Rancid – “…And Out Come The Wolves”
One of the definitive records of the 90’s, suckah-dawg! This was one of the “Big Three” in stirring major label interest in the world of “hook-laden punk”, and with catchy hooks and choruses like these – its not hard to see why. Matt Freeman’s amazing bass skill is dialed-in (No pun intended) front and center, Tim still sounds like a Jersey-yap with a speech impediment and an excessively large bowling ball crammed down his throat, Lars Freddie’s snarling Strummer impression is raging in rare-form, and the ska-esque arrangements are rampant (No small wonder, considering this record was instrumental in the “ska-revival” of the mid-nineties). As far as post-Operation Ivy vets efforts, it’d rank a solid second – behind Common Rider’s “Classics of Love”.
Bad Religion – No Control
It almost feels like we’ve come full-circle (No pun intended) in this spread of syntax errors. How to begin? Its all here – everything Bad Religion-esque. Graffin’s verbose passages regarding the fallacy of base human ideals, but with the faint ray of hope penetrating the darkness of Pandora’s box of mischief. Gurewitz and Bentley’s backing vocals soaring like a choral chant of the damned. A riptide of buzz-sawing guitars and sublime solos. Man, this slab’o’wax is exhilarating! Even twenty-three years after the first pressing.
Refused – Shape of Punk To Come
Its the Burning Heart imprint – but still Epitaph as far as I’m concerned. One could argue that its merely the culmination of various periods of punk-rock and hardcore lumped together with nineties style electronica and beat-esque ‘poetry’. Did Dennis and company grow-up on the tuneage and manifestos of Sam McPheeters and Ian Svenonious? Most definitely! Argueably, Svenonious and Sammac borrowed heavily from the likes of Marinetti, but who’s counting, right? What’s wrong with co-opting material from your favourite bands and taking a go at it? Isn’t that the genesis of most bands? Nobody gives Ian Mackaye crap for trying to emulate Bad Brains self-titled LP! haha But, I digress – the record. This baby is still solid gold. Every note, drum-beat, and high-pitched wretch is perfect. I’d like to mention that they absolutely destroy in a live setting, as well.
Honourable Mentions:
Eyedea & Abilities – E&A
Descendents – Everything Sucks
Voodoo Glow Skulls – Firme
Death By Stereo – Day of The Death
Bouncing Souls – Hopeless Romantic
Agnostic Front – Somethings Gotta Give
Motion City Soundtrack – Commit This To Memory
Osker – Idle Will Kill
All – Problematic
Dag Nasty – Four On The Floor
Shapes Not Too Selective 